


The Seven Positions of Highly Successful Incubi

by Beltenebra



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Kanjani8 (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Demons, M/M, Massu is the Rainbow Brite of Demons, Orgy, Sexual Humor, Succubi & Incubi, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 21:46:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7138541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beltenebra/pseuds/Beltenebra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pi and his loyal team of incubi take a involuntary leave of absence from work rediscover some of the perks of the job.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Seven Positions of Highly Successful Incubi

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for je_fqfest 2011. I tried to make it both sexy and humorous (although I have to admit personally I think the humor turned out better than the sex). :3 A shout-out to Saru for once writing a ficlet where KoyaShige are incubi and Shige calls Koyama the "Strawberry Shortcake of demons" that phrase totally stuck with me.

**Yamashita Tomohisa – Incubus: number 0409 Please report to the office of Director Kamenashi on June 20th for a mandatory evaluation meeting.**

Yamapi was confused. This wasn't exactly a unique state of affairs for him. He had been a demon for a respectable three hundred years give or take a few decades but he still found the human world intensely strange. Especially in the last fifty years or so when whoever was running the progress department seemed to have his thumb permanently stuck on the fast-forward button. 

Like what was up with those web sites where people said what they were doing every five minutes? He was a _demon_ and he didn't think his days were interesting enough to talk about in that amount of detail. And the tea drinks with the tiny balls in them? He was no stranger to balls tiny or otherwise but he thought that was weird. Bagel pizzas and instant noodles he could totally get behind though. He _loved_ cup noodles. 

Today he was confused because he had received a missive from the Central Damnation Offices that proclaimed itself to be a memo. He had never gotten a memo before, he had never really considered himself the corporate type. Hell, he was barely the corporeal type. He chuckled at his own joke while he cooled his heels in the large waiting room waiting to find out what was going on. The memo was vague, liberally spattered with business lingo about 'performance reviews' and 'efficacy assessments'. Things like that you always had to turn your brain sideways to understand and he had never been the best at reading between the lines. He was an incubus, a sex demon. He had sex with people; he thought he was probably pretty good at that. 

The rest of his team trickled in while he was 'contemplating existence' which was his own lingo for napping with his eyes open. Ryo and Shige arrived together, it sounded like they had already gotten a good bitch session going. 

“What the fuck! I mean since when do demons get performance reviews?” 

Shige's reply was dry, “Since the boss started reading crap like _The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People_. If you ask me he's been spending too much time chatting with damned corporate executives.” 

Massu and Koyama strolled in a few minutes later sparing Pi from the rest of Ryo's rant about the declining sex drive in corporate drones. Koyama greeted them all with a smile and a box of donuts. Koyama had always been unusually thoughtful, he couldn't help it. He claimed it made him more effective these days when everyone was so stressed out and they needed a shoulder to cry on as much as they needed a good hard fuck. Pi didn't quite believe him but he did believe in Boston Cream filling. 

Tegoshi materialized just as the big double doors of the office swung open. He looked down at his sweaty, grass-stained jersey and shorts and with a vigorous shake of his head and a little wiggle, like a retriever shaking off water, it melted away to reveal a slick white suit. “Much better,” he sighed before turning to Pi with a grin. “Hey, Leader.” 

It has been a while since he had seen everyone together, they had all been busy with their own pursuits lately. They all shared a smile before trooping in to face their fate. 

Akanishi Jin was very well-known in certain circles. People said he was one of the most powerful incubi around. Right now he looked more like a punk-ass kid, sprawled all over a huge, cushy office chair behind a sleek desk. His bright red hoodie, baggy jeans, and sneakers were incongruous with the professional setting but Jin had always had the ability to own any space he inhabited, making the place look at odds rather than himself. 

He bumped fists with Pi before gesturing to the six chairs arranged in front of the desk with a lazy wave of his hand. Their expressions ranged from slightly puzzled but earnest to bored to irritated, he gave them all a rueful smile. “You guys know this office-type shit isn't really my scene but Kame foisted it off on me. He had some 'urgent business' to attend to. Which I think is really code for fantasy baseball camp but whatever. Big, hard wooden sticks and balls and a locker room full of sweaty guys is pretty much a typical Tuesday for us. Anyway the point is that instead of a nice, polite and professional chewing out you get me.” 

“Chewing out,” Tegoshi asked incredulously, blinking hard like he was trying to process the implication of the words.

“Yeah, you guys have not really been doing a stellar job lately. Hence the efficacy revaluation or whatever the fuck they're calling it these days. Sorry, Pi but the truth is lately you guys have been sucking like a Hoover.” Jin paused, eyes sliding to the side, thinking for a second before he amended his statement. “Only, you know, not in a good way.” 

Shige and Ryo erupted simultaneously in protest, talking over each other to defend their performance, Shige in slightly more eloquent terms than Ryo. Tegoshi crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, clearly waiting for Jin to support his claim. Koyama looked worried while Massu and Pi just shared a shrug and a look that clearly communicated that they were more of less just along for the ride. 

Jin shot out of his chair with a thunderous look, slamming a fist on the desk before wincing slightly and shaking his hand. “Ok, guys. I like you all a lot but if there is something I know, it's fucking. And you have not been living up to our standards. I mean, where do I start...” He rubbed his forehead and circled around to lean against the front of the desk. 

“Koyama, you are a really nice guy and I'm sure plenty of people appreciate it and it's good to make people feel good but you actually need to fuck them for that to count, you know? It's not enough to make tea and just let people talk about their problems. It's called pillow talk for a reason, right? It would be fine if they talked _after_ sex. You're a sex demon. The sex isn't really optional.” 

Koyama flushed a bit but nodded in silent agreement. 

“Tegoshi, you are clearly more interested in nailing the opposing team on the soccer field. Which would be ok if you were actually nailing them. But we all know you just want to win the stupid game.” 

Pi looked over at Tegoshi, the younger demon frowned but couldn't contradict Jin's assessment. 

“What about me, I am totally trying to score,” Ryo cut in, his voice hard. 

Jin rolled his eyes. “Ok, sure, and I'm just supposed to overlook the fact that you spend far more time stroking your guitars than anything useful?” 

Ryo's chin came up in a familiar defiant gesture, “Hey, chicks totally dig musicians.” 

“You shouldn't need to be a musician to get girls. You have sex demon magic! Did you forget about the whole sex demon magic thing?!” 

He could only mutter something about music being the food of love and girls being hard to talk to. 

“Shige, you're actually not doing too badly.” 

The other man smirked a little until Ryo punched him in the arm.

Jin held up a warning finger. “There is always room for improvement though, your numbers aren't _that_ great, just not bad comparatively. But is it really necessary to be so... educated? And you don't really use your powers much at all, you know they need practice to keep them strong.” 

“Yeah, I'll bet you don't even remember how to change sex,” Tegoshi shot at Shige, a challenging glint in his eye. 

Shige sighed and snapped his fingers. A pretty, bored-looking redhead sat in his chair. She raised an eyebrow and contemplated Tegoshi with a bitchy tilt of her head. “Don't even start with me, cupcake.”

The older demon nodded his approval. “Nice. But don't think that gets you off the hook entirely.” He slid his gaze down the line to Massu. The younger demon gave him an adorable, who-me-how-could-I-possibly-be-in-trouble look. Jin pouted, he had always had a weakness for the cute ones. “Cut it out, Masuda. You know what I'm going to say. Really, the fashion obsession is a little distracting.” 

“I have to look good, you know.” 

Jin had to laugh, a sharp, short sound. He gave Massu a once over, taking in everything from the orange and white striped sweater layered over the purple plaid shirt, baggy knit shorts and blue patterned leggings. Not to mention the bulky, blinding acid green sneakers. All of which clashed with his raspberry red hair. Jin actually kind of liked the hair, not that he would admit it out loud. “In what universe does that look good?! You know, you really should be concentrating on taking clothes _off_. Because you're a _sex demon_! Remember?” 

Massu was used to people questioning his taste in clothes, he just shrugged.“Hey some people have clothes on kinks.”

“And how many times have you been willing to risk getting bodily fluids on your precious designer wardrobe in the past six months?” 

He could only meet Jin's expectant look with guilty eyes.

“That's what I thought. I mean, look at you. You're like the Rainbow Brite of demons.” 

Even Koyama couldn't hold back a giggle at that, Ryo was nearly on the floor in hysterics. Massu just huffed adorably and flipped them all off. 

Jin turned to Yamapi last with a sigh. “Pi, Kame would give you all kinds of official crap about being an effective leader and setting a good example for your team and being responsible for their failures and successes and stuff like that. That's not really my style. You know we're bros and I hate to have to say it but it seems kind of like the humans have been rubbing off on you. Heh.” They shared a quick grin at his unintentional joke. 

“It's cool, Jin. I understand. I'm the leader and it's my job to make sure that my team is up to par.” He turned to his team and bowed his head, “I'm sorry guys.” He turned back to Jin with a slightly grim smile. “So, now what?” 

Jin consulted the folder on Kame's desk with a grimace. “It looks like Kame's official recommendation is to put you all on a temporary hiatus.” 

“What exactly does that entail,” Shige asked, already back to his normal male self. 

“It means you'll be sent to Earth for a while without the benefit of your powers. You'll have plenty of money and whatever, we're not going to make you, like, _work_. But you're supposed to be 'gaining an appreciation for principles of our mission without the benefit of supernatural assistance with a re-evaluation to follow after a period of time that is currently undetermined'. So it's... like a vacation? Kind of? What the hell! I fuck up and I get assigned to assist Ueda in the dungeon for three years, you guys fuck up and you get a vacation? Lame.” 

He flicked the memo back onto the desk contemptuously and turned back to them with crossed his arms and a glare. Pi just smiled. 

“Whatever Kame says, right?” 

“Yeah, yeah. He always did have a soft spot for you. Loser,” Jin replied with affectionate irritation. “Anyway, this says 'effective immediately' so shoo! Get to it.” Jin snapped his fingers and they found themselves in a spacious, if blandly decorated high-rise apartment. 

Ryo lost no time in sinking down onto one of the cushy leather couches with a gusty sigh. “Well, now what?” 

Koyama was inspecting his face in a mirror, arching his eyebrows, pursing and relaxing his lips, turning his chin to examine different angles. “I expected to feel really different without the magic but I can barely tell. What do you guys think, am I still hot?” 

“Kei, we're all hot. We're designed to be attractive, I think it's part of the sex demon benefit package,” Shige told him, voice full of fond exasperation. He was slumped on the other couch next to Pi who was halfheartedly flicking through channels. 

“This sucks. There is nothing good on.” 

Ryo flopped his head to the side so he could check out Massu who was in the next room investigating the contents of the fridge. He trailed his gaze over the younger man letting it linger speculatively on the vague curve of his ass in those ridiculous shorts. “I completely agree.” 

Their youngest was still apparently still irked. He sat next to Shige radiating righteous indignation and enumerating all of the reasons why their punishment was unfair. “This is absurd! We're supposed to be the experts in manipulating human sexuality! How are we supposed to do that if we don't familiarize ourselves with human customs? Fashion and music and sports are integral to interpersonal communication and bonding, anyone with half a brain knows that relationships based on commonality are more meaningful that completely superficial ones and-” 

“Tegoshi, you may be over-thinking this.” Shige just chuckled when the younger man glared at him. “And coming from me that is definitely saying something.” 

Pi nodded, “I don't think we're supposed to be worried about building meaningful relationships.” 

Tegoshi narrowed his eyes and drew a breath to launch into what was certain to be another volley of psychobabble when Shige grabbed him by the shoulders and took his mouth in a rough kiss. The other man made a small surprised squeak before melting into the kiss, opening his mouth under Shige's onslaught with a muffled moan. 

A few long moments later Shige pulled away to survey Tegoshi's dazed flush with a satisfied smirk. “I've been wanting to try that for decades. Best. Idea. Ever.” 

Tegoshi frowned but pulled Shige back in, winding his arms around the other man's neck and swinging a leg over to straddle Shige's lap, diving back into Shige's mouth with competitive enthusiasm. He smiled into the kiss at the deep groan he pulled from Shige. 

“Well that's one way to pass the time,” Koyama remarked mildly, leaning against the wall and managing to give Pi a suggestive grin without taking his eyes off Shige and Tegoshi. 

Pi grinned right back. “I'm in. We can call it a team bonding experience.

Ryo was on his feet and already whipping his belt off. “Bonding, bondage, close enough.” 

Fifteen minutes later the fact that they were supposedly being punished was the farthest thing from Pi's mind. He was completely naked and laid out enjoying Koyama's attention and the extra fluffy carpet, squirming a bit under Koyama's teasing touches like a happy puppy. 

He was a patient man, he let Koyama play: light caresses across his hip bones, skating over his ribs, up the tender flesh of his inner thigh, ghosting over his pebbled nipples. The older man's hands were a delightful contrast to his mouth on Pi's neck, hot and rough, busy sucking small bruises to life. 

Pi turned his head to give Koyama better access to the spot right behind his ear and watch Tegoshi and Shige go at it. They were both shirtless, Tegoshi had their pants open and one of his pretty little hands wrapped around both of their cocks. Shige slid his hands down the curve of Tegoshi's ass, pushing the denim down and baring him to the room. Pi appreciated the view. They were still kissing hard and deep, like it was a game one of them could win. Pi wished one of them would concede if only because he wanted to hear the noises they were making, half-muffled by their mouths. 

Koyama decided to work his way down Pi's chest and Pi was surprised by the sudden wet suction around one nipple. He hissed and arched at the sharp pleasure as Koyama smirked, nipping lightly at the tanned flesh. 

Massu had apparently decided to join them when Pi wasn't looking if Ryo's strangled groan was any indication. Koyama pulled away enough that they could both turn to watch Massu drop to his knees and suck Ryo's cock past his perfect, plush lips. Ryo was totally nude, his hair dark against his cheeks as he looked to down to watch Massu, who for some reason was still fully clothed. Massu could be perversely stubborn sometimes, maybe he just wanted to prove Jin wrong. Ryo was unabashedly loud, making the most delicious husky sounds as Massu pinned his hips to the wall with strong hands and pulled back to suck on the sensitive tip of his cock. 

“Pretty,” was Koyama's breathy and completely accurate assessment. 

Pi was at a loss why it took them so long to get here. “How is it possible that we've known each other for hundreds of years and never had sex?” 

“Speak for yourselves.” Koyama and Shige answered simultaneously, sharing a bright grin. 

Ryo won the prize for fastest orgasm, back arched against the wall and his head thrown back as he came in Massu's mouth. Pi didn't blame him, he was sure he wouldn't have lasted long with Massu either. Massu smiled and licked his lips so obscenely that Yamapi moaned in response and he was halfway across the room. 

The smaller man slid bonelessly to his knees, trading lazy kisses with Massu and running his hands up under that baggy shirt. “So what exactly have you been hiding under those ridiculous clothes?” 

Massu chuckled and stood to shuck his clothes unceremoniously, apparently having proved his point. The rest of them could really only stop and stare. Ryo found his voice first. “Holy shit, no wonder you dress like that. You would have died from loss of bodily fluids by now.” 

“I know, right?” The younger man smirked, and damn, he really ought to do that more often, Pi thought. It made him look every inch the fallen angel their ancestors were rumored to be. 

Ryo's perfectly reasonable response was to pull him down and attempt to get his hands on every inch of gorgeous muscle. 

Koyama kissed him then, hot and wet, claiming his attention for a few lovely, breathless minutes as he spread Pi's legs and trailed those clever fingers down the sensitive crease between hip and thigh. Pi whimpered his approval into the kiss as the pad of Koyama's finger traced slick circles around his opening, pressing in just a little before pulling back out to stroke up to his balls, still teasing, teasing, teasing. Pi spread his legs wider, tightened his hands in Koyama's hair to communicate his impatience. 

Pi could feel his sly, fox smile against his neck, a tiny warning just a breath before Koyama sunk two fingers into him. “Fuck, yes,” he breathed and Koyama raced forward, pressing his fingers hard and deep and just where Pi wanted them. 

Shige and Tegoshi were oblivious to the rest of them, Tegoshi seemed to be putting on some kind of private show as he rode Shige, one of his hands pinching his own nipple, the other in his hair, hips working double time. Shige watched through slitted eyes, head tipped back, breathing hard and looking like he was thoroughly enjoying being along for the ride. 

A few moments later and Massu had Ryo on his back, the smaller man's legs hitched up over his shoulders as he pounded into him. Pi had an amazing view of his ass flexing as he thrust hard again and again, the rhythm almost hypnotic. 

Koyama bit the end of Pi's nose to get his attention and he smiles sheepishly. Koyama smiles back and Pi gets the feeling that he doesn't mind very much, he thinks Koyama probably also likes to watch. But there really isn't room for anything else in his head because Koyama was pressing forward in one smooth motion, filling him up and taking hijacking all of his senses. For someone who loved to talk, Koyama had been remarkably quiet during sex but his breathy whimper when his slim hips bumped Pi's skin and he was buried as deep as possible was one of the hottest things Pi had ever heard. 

He could feel that perfect burn, the stretch of being completely filled, Koyama shifted just a little and the head of his cock brushed that spot that made Pi moan and writhe, his body jolting with a sudden burst of pleasure. Luckily Koyama could take a hint and with a low chuckle he pulled out and slid back in, smooth and even and deep and _damn_ that was good. 

The two of them found the perfect groove just in time to hear Tegoshi wail in completion. The youngest came messily all over his hand and immediately pulled himself off of Shige, settling back against the cushions with a sated smile that had Shige scowling because he was clearly not done. Tegoshi just smiled angelically and blew him a kiss. 

Massu, ever thoughtful, murmured something in Ryo's ear that had the other man moaning at the thought. He pulled out and flipped Ryo over, tugging the smaller man to his knees and waving Shige over with a bright smile. Shige's eyes widened in surprise but Ryo gave him a dark smile that had him scrambling to the couch in front of them. 

Tegoshi hummed his approval, watching languidly as Ryo leaned forward to lap at the tip of Shige's cock. Massu's hands were firm on Ryo's hips and he worked his way back into him with short thrusts. Ryo moaned and Massu pulled one of Shige's hands down to twine in Ryo's hair before trailing his own hand down the slope of Ryo's shoulders, anchoring the smaller man. His voice was deep and warm, “Shhh, it's ok. Just take it, baby.” He smiled up at Shige and winked before pulling out and slamming into Ryo hard, pushing the him forward onto Shige's cock. 

Pi was mildly shocked that their most caustic member looked like there was no where he would rather be than caught between them, filled and pounded and used, but the blissed out expression on his face was unmistakeable. Shige never had a chance, he came hard, groaning and shuddering just minutes after Ryo deep-throated him. 

“I should have known, we're all still hot,” Koyama murmured in his ear. They were still rocking together, slow but steady and the pleasure was building, sensation pooling in Pi's gut like water behind a dam. 

“Kei, I want to come.” His own voice sounded whinier than he expected, tight with tension and Koyama's hips met his again and again. So good, almost perfect. 

Koyama just laughed softly and did _something_ with his hips, moving in impossible maddening circles that had him pushing against that spot over and over. And there was no way Pi could hold on he was drowning, caught in the tide as the dam burst and he could feel his whole body tingling, jerking in Koyama's arms, pulsing hot and sticky between them. Koyama pressed forward a few more times, moaning at the way Pi's body tightened around him before he was coming and Pi could feel the heat of him deep inside. 

They collapsed in a limp heap and after a soft kiss, arranged themselves so they could join Tegoshi and Shige watching Massu fuck Ryo. Really, that ass was insane. Ryo made a pained noise as Massu slapped his hand away from his own cock before pushing his head down gently so he could haul his hips up for a better angle. 

It must have been what he was looking for because Ryo almost screamed when he came just a few powerful thrusts later. Massu's teeth were white and even against his own lower lip but he looked calm, like he was perfectly happy to continue like this indefinitely. Pi shared a mischievous look with Koyama before slicking his fingers with lube. He maneuvered himself closer to Massu and held his clean hand to his lips in an unmistakeable 'be quiet' gesture to Tego and Shige before shoving two fingers deep into Massu. 

The other man tensed for a second in shock but Pi crooked his fingers just so and Massu pushed himself back into the touch. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh _fuck_. Right there. And all it took was one more little wiggle of his fingers and Massu came with a soft cry. 

He was perfectly still for a few moments, slumped over Ryo's back, face buried in the other man's shoulder before he pulled out gently and flopped over onto his back, throwing his limbs out to the side in a sprawl. Ryo followed suit and they were all just sort of laying there, grinning at each other like idiots. 

“Seriously. _Awesome_. I don't know if it will make any difference to our hiatus but we should absolutely do that again,” Pi insisted. 

“How about now,” Tegoshi chirped, all sunshine and energy and clearly ready for round two. 

“No time like the present,” Ryo agreed and grabbed Koyama who just grinned and pushed Ryo back down on his back to kiss eagerly. 

Pi was excited to see what Tegoshi could do with his mouth and while he wasn't exactly expecting that quick tongue inside him, he couldn't say it didn't feel amazing. Tegoshi used his hands to work his shaft, his touch smooth and confident. Pi wanted to express his appreciation but his mouth was full. He was sure Tegoshi probably got the idea. 

Koyama was bouncing himself enthusiastically on Ryo's cock as the shorter man thrust up into him from below. Shige and Massu seemed content to watch for now, cuddled up together, hands moving lazily over each others' bodies. 

They were still at it a few hours and one dinner break later when a piece of paper popped into existence and fluttered down to land on Pi's face. He nudged at Shige's head to stop him long enough for him to read it. It was, of course, another memo. 

This one was longer, starting with a strict admonishment that fucking each other did not at all count towards their official reinstatement but continued on in a clinical but impressed critique of their technique. It closed with the promise that if they could do that all again but include a group of virgin priestesses that they would be back to work in within hours and Kame's loopy signature. 

Pi read this all aloud to the general amusement of the group after which he proceeded to ball up the memo and toss it over his shoulder before looking down, “You can go back to that blow job now.” Shige rolled his eyes but complied and Yamapi moaned unabashedly. Kame could wait a while longer, he figured. Work was overrated.


End file.
